so damn angry wif myself todae.. i dunno y.. but some times i reali feel tt i jux a piece of junk living on the Earth wasting it's resources..*pull hair pull hair* living in the world is reali hard.. everything oso veri hard.. hard to study.. hard to work.. hard to travel.. hard to do thing i reali want.. hard to fulfil dreams.. even want to die oso hard.. y izt so hard.. i jux wanna be a simple gal living a simple life.. is tt veri hard to fulfil too?? facing the real world is a real challenge.. facing my frenz.. families.. colleagues.. everyone.. facing all of the ppl i mention above reali give me lots of stress.. in front of all them i mux oni carry a smile on my face.. but who reali noes how i feel inside of me?? everybody expect me to understand them.. treating them even better.. but who can understand me?? got problems?? joyce may be the first name they can think of.. cos i'm someone tt is worry-free.. but how do they noe?? mux be thinking y i dont tell all of the ppl rite?? but even if i tell them wat can they do?? they have their own problem to bother.. who will have the time to notice me?? wen they have problems.. they'll have a shoulder to cry on.. no matter who.. no matter if they have a beau.. or if their beau is wif them.. cos i'll always be there for all of them.. is a promise tt i've made to them.. but who's there for me?? there wasnt a shoulder for me to lean on and cry.. u may think tt all this is wat i deserve rite?? but to me i tink i shouldnt give others trouble.. cos i'm lucky enough..
but how long can a person last?? wif all the problems kept to urself?? moreover i'm a gal.. i may look strong on the outside.. but my internal world in brittle.. ppl jux hurt me without knowing.. some nights i sleep wif tears.. but how many of those ppl who sae they know me quite well noes tt?? all i can sae is.. u don noe me at all.. i may appear wif a smile on my face but tt doesnt mean tt i am reali happy.. frm young i am known to ppl as a happie go lucky gal.. worry-free.. always laughing.. always happie.. but i always keep things to myself.. i jux feel tt i might be too much a burden to some ppl tt's y i rather keep all the thing i noe to myself.. wen my heart is bleeding how many knows?? less than 2.. haix..
i think i've tok too much on my own personal feelings.. let me think if i've got sth happie to tok abt.. hmmm.. well todae i've got IS.. i went to sch.. while waiting for my fwen to come.. i saw 3 ppl.. one of them is yuyan.. but i neva call her.. cos u noe.. whenever she saw she cant control herself.. everytime she will jump on me.. and she will start being veri whinny.. which is like so not her lor.. but wen i think back.. i think the oni person who will like her for who she is will oni be meng hwee.. hahas.. dunno do he still have any feeling for her.. actually.. she should count herself lucky.. cos not everyone like the way her work or she reacts wif the problems she is facing.. she should learn to appreciate meng hwee.. now tt both of them is studying in different sch.. is so hard for them to meet up.. how i wish someday she will realise the exsitence of meng hwee.. other den yuyan.. i saw jj too.. but not tt i saw him lah.. i saw waiting for my fwen.. and she's late.. i've got nothing to do.. so i sat dere listened to my music and daze lor.. he walk past me den he waved at me.. i tio shock.. i tot who the heck was tt.. hahas.. i guess the other time i sae he for being not friendly tt's y he waved to me todae.. hahas.. and the veri veri last person i met was someone tt i don wish to see the most.. seeing him=unlucky 2 wks.. suai arh.. of all ppl i see him.. and u noe wat color shirt he wear?? a red color shirt.. wah.. tt's like veri eye catching lor.. tt's y i spotted him.. hahas..
